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Monday, 14 July 2008

amazed.

God's love for us is unlimited. Trusting in God, leads to bigger things. It leads to heavenly desires and not earthly desires. For we cannot serve both the heaven and the earth.

Because of your indescribable love I will choose to live a life glorifying your name.
I'm deeply amazed by you.

Oh, how wide. how deep. how great is your love for me.

listening to; amazed by desperation band

Saturday, 12 July 2008

Your plans for me.

I've finally came to a point where I've grown more intimate with God. It is said that God speaks to us in different ways. As we let go of our problems and let God come into our lives we feel God's presence. I came across a sermon that I had listened to a few days ago and he challenged me spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. He questioned the congregation if any of us doubted after we prayed. Does this mean that we don't trust in God's plans? Having the smallest amount of doubt can really get to us.
For the past two days I sought for God's love. As I closed my eyes and meditated, I knew that God stood by my side. He filled that emptiness of my heart that I have created over the years by living in materialism and distractions. Longing for relationships with friends and with the opposite sex was desirable. But today I know and believe that when we, individuals trust in God all of our emptiness will be gone. Creating requirements for boys was how I selected them. But now I understand that whomever is placed in my life I will be content and satisfied. No more longing. No more emptiness.

We cannot serve both heavenly & earthly things.
Isn't it possible to serve both heaveny and earthly things? No, it's not. Experience it first.

If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

Hate the world today; Starfield. Hate the World Today

As much as it thrills me
I wanna get off this ride
For gravity holds me
Yet grace calls me to Your side
As much as I trust You
Though I know that hope will come with time
Injustice prevails
And truth lags behind

Looking for beauty
Searching for sense in all the pain
A note of redemption
A break in the clouds to stop the rain
Can You hear me calling?
Have You been listening to my cry?
Cause I can't carry on
If I don't find out why

I hate the world today
But I love this life you have given
I hate the world today
But I love you and I need you here

Though stuck in this moment
Everything good still comes from you
As much as I don't know
I'm trusting that you will carry me through
Though thousands are falling
Though comfort and peace are beyond reach
I'll offer my heart
I'll try to believe

It's pulling me to peices
In a fight for my soul
These two worlds are waging war
The falling of humanity
And the truth that although
I can't see with my eyes
I'm still trying to believe

Friday, 11 July 2008

retreat?

I see people getting hyped up for retreat. Although I'm not going, because of a few reasons. What bothers me the most is why others get all excited for retreat and not for sermons on a regular basis. I know that the environment is different but what is God trying to point out? I used to think that retreat was a "high" point for my spiritual life. But what I thought was wrong. For 3 consecutive years I realized that I went to retreat for the wrong reasons. I felt that retreat was an excuse to spend more quality time with that special person(s)/ friends. And after retreat had ended I began to grow tired of boring sermons. Motivation for me to study and to search for God died off after a month. God proved to me that I needed spiritual food every single day. I can't expect to have spiritual food for a few days from retreat each year. In fact, we NEED spiritual food every single day. I really do hope that one day we'd all realize that having retreat should be a place where we can continue to walk with the Lord. We should look forward studying the Bible through sermons, etc. as much as we look forward to those retreats.

During the meeting for retreat, I was asked to give feedback and I stated that one thing that our church lacked was accountability. We go to church, study the Bible, hang out, and sing songs of worship, but I feel that church should not only be a place of gathering but also a place to keep others in check. To take the time and effort to ask how they are with their spiritual life. We become obscure to our own problems we forget to ask how others are doing. I guess it has to do with issues with opening up. We feel that we're really good friends but we can't share about our feelings with God. We can easily share about our relationships with the opposite sex but we can't share about the joy and struggles that we have with Jesus? Interesting, isn't it?

Song of the day :) Love is the reversal; starfield.

Monday, 30 June 2008

It's amazing how sometimes people don't look at the me the way i look at them. Knowing them for years and treating them like a friend doesn't necessarily mean that they're your friends. It kind of hurts. People who go to church makes no difference compared to friends who don't go to church. I feel a lot closer to non-Christians. But I'm not such a good person either. I'm pretty sure that people can come up with several things in which i have done wrong.

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

As we all may know, college is one of the most expensive investment that we would ever make as a young adult.. I've been very nervous about money issues lately, I'm sure that most of us seniors who are going to some sort of a CSU or UC are a bit iffy about money. College is already expensive, it hasn't even started yet either. Paying for the most ridiculous things, such as accepting a college is another $102, just signing up for room and board is another $300. They really make it feel like money grows out of trees. On top of college expenses, senior events is another issue. Prom costs around the triple digits which might affect my participation to other senior events. I really don't know what to do.

*As I planted two head phones into my ears, I randomly chose a song "Kindness" by Chris Tomlin on my mp3 player. For some kind of a reason, the acoustic guitar alone allows me to meditate easier. I become oblivious to all that's surrounding me. I close my eyes and being my search looking for God. I usually can't feel His presence at an instance. But this time the soft wind blew against me and I felt God's presence tugging my heart& holding me. And for some sort of a reason, I feel a lot better. I get onto the bus and I realize that I became distracted, several passengers were conversing with one another. And I decided to turn up the volume. I then realize that this situation was similar to my spiritual life. When I was outside waiting for the bus, I wasn't distracted. And it's easier to find God this way. But as there's distractions, I tend to not be able to see him as clearly as I can. But once we realize that we lost focus with God we try to ask God to come back into our lives and God again becomes the center of our lives.
*-sorry about the horrible grammar, etc. I haven't had time to proofread. I just wanted to get the message across, because God is wonderful & works in miraculous ways.